To Farim

My engagement day happened almost three years ago and since the whole event itself was a last minute decision, I asked one of our close friends, Dzafri, to be our photographer which he gladly said yes but little did he know, he met the love of his life there and she happens to be my best friend!

I met Farim when we were fifteen; clueless, addicted to Myspace and weird fringe. She is one of the very few people that saw me at my lowest point in life and did not judge any stupid decisions I made. I also watched her fall for useless guys but hey, who didn’t at that one point in life. We would talk on the phone for hours after school (she moved to a different school a year after that). I definitely remember her being in my Top 8 (Top 4, even haha!)

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What’s with my shirt.

Of course we had our ups and downs but we made it up and look how far we’ve come, she’s getting married in three months. We used to talk about our heartaches, a lot. I guess most of our phone calls revolved around that. It was either me crying over something bad and vice versa.

We were just two sixteen year olds who listened to Tegan & Sara a lot (Favorite Thing by Kate Nash used to be our emo jam) but look at us now, Farim! We still listen to those songs but we don’t feel sad about it. We now laugh at the stupid things we did back then and she was my maid of honor for both events and next year, I’m gonna be hers!

I don’t know if you read this space or not but I am so happy that you found your happiness in the most unexpected timing. You used to cry a lot, you were unhappy but to finally know how content your heart is right now feels so good. You deserve this, baby girl. Now go get married!

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Forever and always with this one
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Lucy Rose in KL

I have been procrastinating here a lot til it came to a point where I realized that Lucy Rose concert happened 3 months ago but I still want to write about it because it was such an amazing experience to finally be able to watch her perform because if you read my previous post, I missed her show in Singapore because it was raining heavily and I fell asleep.

The ticket was dirt cheap, considering how intimate the show was but I definitely loved all the shows that I attended at The Bee!

Her show included a special screening about her Latin America tour and it was nice because The Bee is a small venue, so all of us sat on the floor and watched the screening.

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Her show was super laid back and she sang quite a  number of songs which you can find the setlist here. She explained to us that she arrived in the morning and will be flying straight to Singapore (I think) right after the show but she still squeezed in some time for meet and greet.

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But clearly Munirah & I hit the jackpot when we saw her walking around Publika with her husband right before her show. She even noticed us during the meet and greet!

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We settled for this because her husband was rushing us but hey, it was really nice of her to stop and entertained her fans!

 

Red bank to Blue bank

I took a huge leap, well at least for me; I quit HPE and joined CIMB. It was the hardest decision I had ever have to make considering how much I loved working there. I wasn’t planning on moving for at least another two years but shit happened, you just have to move on. I was frantically looking for a new job and CIMB offer came at the most perfect timing. I loved my time there. Yes, past tense because I left CIMB only three months after I joined the company. I got an offer from the company of my dream. The offer was too good to decline albeit being almost content in the red bank. My decision to move to this new place was not a walk in the park thing.. I had a really good project manager and the managing director was planning to move me into a new technology. Still not entirely sure if I made the right decision but I’ll find out soon enough I guess.

This post is so short. I don’t deserve anything. Lol

Sad boys/girls club

I have been listening to my husband’s playlist; little did I know, we are both sad people. When I first started dating him, I knew his music taste was different than mine but it took three years (and our marriage, lol) to finally find out that my husband is a mirror image of me. We are equally love sad songs but his sad songs are much more intense than mine which led to our late night conversation few nights ago.

We were both ready for bed but since I wasn’t that sleepy, I asked him to stay up for a bit.

“Babe, you know we are both equally sad people?”

He smiled, he didn’t hesitate this time around, there was no point of denying.

We decided to talk about a lot of things that happened in our past because as weird as this sounds, we rarely talk about it. Suff is the kind of person who wants to focus on his future, while I sometimes dwell on my past too much.

He told me about the first girl that broke his heart, the girl he thought he’d never get over, the stupidest thing he’d done for a girl which contributed to his sad playlist. He told me almost everything about his past, the thing I never thought he had experience. I didn’t know such pain was inside this wonderful guy.

It was also his first time asking me about my past but surprisingly, he took it well. He laughed at some of my stories, he consoled at the sad ones. I told him the things I never thought I could tell him and he accepted it. It made sense to him why I’m sensitive over certain things. It’s not that I haven’t gotten over it but it wasn’t a pleasant memory for me to let go and he, gracefully, understood.

At the end of the conversation, he said he now understands why things didn’t work out with his exes. Those experiences and heartaches led him to me.

Over my head

Last weekend reminded me that having a good support system is extremely important for your health. I am trying to write here as often as possible but who are we kidding, at this age, blog comes last and one thing that I noticed is, I easily forget what I feel since I rarely write things.

Here it goes; last Friday, we celebrated August, September & October babies in one go because gathering everyone in one place is not an easy thing but bless Whatsapp for making it easier for people to keep in touch. Initially, it was supposed to be a small group thing but the crowd went from 8 to 17 real quick and it was nice to see everyone.

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Our celebration ended around 10.30PM but some of us decided to continue our little party at Arope’s. Since we had a long table, we separated our conversations into three groups. I think the thing that really got me was my conversation with Hakim & Arope. I always thought I was alone in a lot of things, especially back then. I thought I had no one when I went through it all alone but he reminded me of the time when both of us hit rock bottom, we were there for each other. Like literally there, both of us would check on each other to see if we were fine.

We talked about regrets, too.

Which I strongly believe that everyone has their own regrets; I don’t believe there’s not a single person in this world that doesn’t have any regrets and I still hope to god sometimes that I could take it back because it is not fun when you can’t make peace with your past. It’s something I should’ve let go a long time ago but sometimes when you can’t, you just can’t.

But all in all, I am grateful to have such a strong support system throughout my whole life. I have always been lucky when it comes to this because my issues tend to be overrun but I have loved ones that are so patient and caring. I tend to overlook these things sometimes because I get too caught up with my own problems and I only realize it when it’s too late.

To the friends that were there for me during my hard times, thank you.

To those who I have not kept in touch for quite some time, I am truly sorry.

To those who are still trying to power through, we are going to get through this together.